Risks and Rewards of Living with Friends

By Uloop Writer on July 25, 2012

I recently loaned my bedroom to a good friend. Since I’m living with my parents for the summer, I was happy to let him stay in my empty room. I moved my stuff into a spare bedroom–he moved his stuff into my future bedroom. I learned in a few hours things I’d never known about him, like the fact that he has 43 more pairs of shoes than I do. Or that he’s just as obsessive-compulsive as I am when it comes to bed placement. Although we won’t be living together (and although I’ve never lived with a close friend) it is my humble opinion that living with a friend ends in two outcomes: it can elevate your friendship to the highest degree of brotherhood/sisterhood, or it will rip the two of you apart.

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I’m writing this blog in an attempt to keep the latter from happening. In three years at Oregon, I’ve seen both happen. These are the stories I find most revealing on living with friends. Learn from the good, the bad, and the ugly ones. (For privacy issues, all names below have been changed.)

Phyllis lived with her best friend from high school. They were so close that they considered themselves sisters. When I met her, they’d been living together for nearly two years. At this point, I would have pegged them stepsisters rather than sisters. Phyllis explained to me that Sally did not make good relationship decisions with men and was obsessed with dancing. The next year the two hardly spoke (granted, Phyllis was studying abroad). Since Phyllis’s return, they have gotten doughnuts. The two are not living together now, which may be why their friendship has resurfaced.

Next year, Patsy will be living with her friend of seven years. For the past few months, Patsy has been very excited. But when the two recently moved their things into their new house, they played a game of rock-paper-scissors for the bigger of the two bedrooms. Patsy won. However, she won’t be living there until September, so Janet decided to move into the bigger bedroom while Patsy is gone. This did not sit well with Patsy. She is now worried living with her friend will be more hassle than heavenly.

Ralph moved in with Waldo. Waldo’s need for attention irked Ralph. Waldo only thought of himself, only wanted to talk if he was the one speaking. While Ralph did become frustrated at times, he did not let that define their friendship. Ralph and Waldo are no longer living together, yet the two sincerely miss each other’s company. Ralph accepted Waldo’s thicker qualities, and their friendship is stronger than ever.

While living with a friend may appear inviting, it will bring out all negative qualities that otherwise would remain hidden. Friendship is a lot like relationships–if you two are truly two peas in a pod, your friend will accept you for who you are, and you will do the same for him or her. If not, you won’t, and the friendship may end. But if your friends can’t accept you for who you are, do you really want them in your corner anyway?

Courtesy of my friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If it does work out, you’ve found your ‘masterpiece of nature,’ according to one Mr. Emerson.

 

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